Today is set aside in many parts of the world as Mother’s Day, and we salute our mothers. However, let us make a special effort to examine ourselves and see if we are doing what God expects of us to foster the kind of families that He is pleased with. Don’t just be nice to “Mother” today and then go back to a way that might not be well-pleasing to God. This is not a challenge just to mothers, but to all of us; especially us of “he household of faith”.
Matthew 24:12 is an incredible and profound Scripture and it explains our predicament perfectly. It says that in the end times, "...because iniquity [anything that quenches God's Spirit] shall abound, the Love of many shall grow cold." The Greek word here for "iniquity" is anomia, which means "a disregard of God's law of Agape" (Romans 13:10).
The reason this definition of "iniquity" is so interesting is that the Greek word for love here in this Scripture is Agape - which means God's supernatural Love. So, this passage has to be talking about Christians, because Christians are the only ones who have God's Love in their hearts (because Jesus is in their hearts). This passage is saying that in the end times, something is going to happen to that Love in Christians' hearts ("a disregard for it"), that will cause it to be quenched, blocked and grow cold (look around, another proof that His return is near).
It is shocking that this could possibly refer to God's Love in Christians. But, in the years I've known this verse, this is exactly what I see happening in our Christian community today. And it's one of the reasons why so many Christian marriages, Christian relationships, and Christian Church bodies are having so much trouble. Something has happened to God's Love in our hearts that has made it grow cold in our lives.
Anyone of us can become one of those Matthew 24:12 statistics. Having God's Love in our hearts (and it does not matter how long we’ve been saved), we can certainly grow cold in our lives because we have chosen to hold on to (and not give over to God) bitterness, resentment, anger and unforgiveness towards those we claim offends us. Thus, without realizing it, we quenched God's Spirit (His Love) in us. We often "disregarded His Law of Love" and it is sin (iniquity).
Ironically, we can do these things and still think we are operating in God's Love. Today some of us are actively involved in “ministry” and think we automatically have Agape Love flowing through us! The truth is, we didn't even know the meaning of the word Agape - because we are loving, hoping to get in return the love that we so desperately needed. That's not God's Love at all, but our own natural, self-centered, human love! I think many Christians today are confusing natural, human love with God's Love. And this is where we are getting confused, off track, and ready to give up because it's just not working.
God's Love
What we must first understand at this time is that Agape is not a human emotion or feeling, but God Himself loving through us. God is the One doing the loving, not us. And all God desires from us is the willingness to set ourselves aside (to relinquish ourselves, to surrender ourselves), so that He can love through us.
When I say "self," I mean all of our own thoughts, emotions, and desires that are not of faith (things that are not of God; things that are contrary to God). All God wants from us is the "willingness" to yield our "selves" to Him, so that He then can freely love His Love through us. In other words, God's Love doesn't just automatically flow through us, just because we are Christians. We can prevent the flow of God's love by blocking it with our emotions. All of our hurts, anger, fears, resentments, pride and unbelief that we choose to hold on to and not give over to God, block His Love in our hearts and cause it to grow cold in our lives.
The Real Problem
This is exactly the problem in many families (marriages) – Christians' included. If we don't know "how" to (or even that we are "supposed to") give our hurts, bitterness and unforgiveness over to God, His Love became quenched (blocked, covered over) in our hearts. But, because we might not know of any real solutions - after we explode or cry - then we just pushed all those emotions down deep in our hearts, locked them up tightly, force a smile on our faces, and came out to begin all over again.
We think that by "burying our real feelings and emotions" and putting a smile on, we will get rid of them and no one would ever know the difference. The truth is, of course, when we bury our real feelings, we don't get rid of them, we just program them in deeper, and then they become the motivation for much of our behavior.
Now, the world functions this way because the world has no other choice - it has no other option. Without Jesus in our lives to literally take away our hurts, our frustration, our unforgiveness we're all "walking time bombs," ready to explode! (Just like the world). Read the newspapers today, watch T.V., notice the people on the street. Everyone seems ready to explode - you see it everywhere.
"Naturally" we all respond to hurt and pain in one of two ways: We either vent our anger and our frustration or we push them down and bury them. If we have Jesus in our lives, however, there is a third option: if we can just recognize and acknowledge our true thoughts and feelings and learn how to literally give these things to God (rather than venting them or burying them), then God promises to remove them "as far as the east is from the west" and fill us with His Love (Psalm 103:12). So, our only responsibility is to recognize and acknowledge the negative things in our lives that are not of faith and to give them over to Him. God, then, will do the rest.
What is the Situation?
Of course, we don't always know these things or they don’t come to mind when we are in desperate situations; and so without God intervening and doing something pretty radical in our relationships (marriages), it’s a worrysome situation.
We often feel like we have tried every way we knew to save our relationships (marriagies) - books, marriage counselors, seminars, the way of "submission", crying fits and everything else. Yet, nothing seem to ever work - the fact is, none of these have changed us on the inside. These are simply temporary outside fixes, because they never touched or exposed the real junk "inside" that quenched God's Love.
We must seek in our lives, a "more excellent way" for us to love and that is what I think is totally missing in many Christian relationships today. We must trust God enough to give Him all our frustrations, loneliness, resentments, unforgiveness etc. (all the things in us that are not of faith), He will then show us how to initiate His Love to others. I am not saying that you don't have ligitimate reasons to feel the way we feel, we are human; but we must act outside of the 'natural' and in the 'spiritual' by giving these emotions over to God.
Everyday is “Mother’s Day” and here is God’s model for mothers that He is well pleased with: Take this "test" and see what you think God is thinking about you (me) right at this moment. Am I well pleasing to Him?
Prov 31:11-12, 23, 25-31.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
KJV
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
KJV
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